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Dealing with difficult people: the ten most unwanted behaviors.
by Bruce Cook
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As a business broker, a tour guide and neighborhood association president, I've had to enter into often times complex and highly sensitive negotiations. I've negotiated just about everything from detailed environmental / real estate deals to down-to-the-wire business sales to haggling over a tour group dinner price in Bangkok, Thailand. One lesson I've learned is that, no matter how sophisticated or unsophisticated a person is, everyone behaves in certain unwanted ways that quite often torpedo negotiations.
It is very helpful to realize if you can understand what a person is trying to do and why they are behaving the way they do, you can employ techniques to prevent them from becoming difficult. With practice, you can even learn to turn things around and bring out the best in someone.
In their book, Dealing with Difficult People, Dr’s Rick Brinkman and Rick Kirschner identify ten bothersome behaviors and strategies to successfully deal with each one. They also teach useful techniques to neutralize whining, negativity, attacks, tantrums, and more.
Here’s the ten unwanted behaviors. Which one(s) are you?
- The Tank: Ruthless, loud and forceful, this person assumes the end always justifies the means. Get in the way and you will be eliminated.
- The Sniper: A covert operator who resents you for some reason. Instead of getting mad, they get even by using your weaknesses against you, through sabotage, gossip and putdowns.
- The Grenade: Explodes in tantrums way out of proportion to the circumstances, sending everyone ducking for cover and wondering what is going on.
- The Know-It-All: This one actually knows 98% of everything. (Just ask!) They will tell you what they know (endlessly), but won’t take a second to listen to your inferior ideas.
- The Think-They-Know-It-All: Even though they don’t know much, they don’t let that get in their way. If they don’t know what they are talking about, they simply make it up, mislead or throw you off track.
- The Yes Person: Quick to agree, slow to deliver. This person leaves a trail of unkept commitments. Yes people over-commit to please, yet end up pleasing no one.
- The Maybe Person: This person puts off all crucial decisions until its too late and the decision makes itself or is made for them.
- The Nothing Person: You won’t know what’s going on with this one - because the Nothing Person will never tell you anything - no feedback, verbal or nonverbal.
- The No Person: Doleful and discouraging, this person drives others to despair. Their motto is “Every silver cloud has a dark lining.”
- The Whiner: Wallowing in pity and whining incessantly, this person drags others down by generalizing everything is wrong and nothing is right. And, its always going to be that way! (Unless you do something.)
Bruce Cook, CPA is the Business Manager for Go Global Inc. , a boutique travel business and a Business Broker for Discount Business Brokers USA Bruce is a successful negotiator and practices interpersonal communications when working with people in his businesses.
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